Four Books I’d Read (If someone wrote them)

I sometimes dream up plots for fiction that I’m not going to write, but I’d love to read the books if someone else did. Here are 4.

Feel free to write them and make a fortune with a best-seller. If you want to give me a cut of the royalties for the idea, that’d be nice, but you don’t have to. Just send me a free copy of the book.

  1. Car 468. A series of short stories about the guy from the county senior center who drives a minivan with the number 468 on the hood. He picks up seniors and drops them off at medical appointments. That kind of thing. He gets paid minimum wage, but he’s in it for the insurance and retirement plan. Each chapter is about one of the seniors he picks up.
  2. Gondola Ride. A slow day at Whiteface Mountain Ski Center in upstate NY. Guy gets on the gondola at the bottom. He’s the only rider in that car. When the doors open at the top he’s dead. Shot in the neck. Maybe it’s suicide. Maybe it’s not. But the story is what happened on that gondola ride. (Or maybe what led up to it, or what came after. You decide.) Write the book, or the movie, or both. To make it more interesting, throw this in: a marine biology team has found some unusual readings at the bottom of a particularly deep cove of Loch Ness (or maybe it’s Lake Champlain).
  3. Dream Catcher. Someone has invented a dream catcher machine. The government (or the corporations, the Koch Brothers, the Illuminati, Faux News, or whoever — Faux News conspiring with MSNBC, that’d be good) has found a way to intercept dream readings and is using it to take over the world. Joe (or Jane) Schmoe (the plumber?) realizes what’s going on when his dream machine chip malfunctions and suddenly it’s him (or her) against the conspiracy in a game of cat and mouse. Bonus if you write it as a book for “young readers.”
  4. Ice Storm. 9 unlikely people, who would never be found together otherwise, find themselves iced in during a week-long ice storm in the Adirondacks (or maybe it’s the Green or White Mountains, or somewhere in Maine). Like “Big Brother, the Novel.” A couple fall in love, one goes after another with a kitchen knife. Another just goes bat-shit crazy from being stuck in close quarters. Here’s the cast of characters:
    • A millionaire bond trader from a NYC financial giant who used to be with Leaman Brothers
    • A member of the Bloods (he was on his way down the Adirondack Northway with a trunk full of crack when the storm hit)
    • A fundamentalist Christian housewife who’s taking a “spiritual retreat” — or so she says,
    • A lesbian feminist women’s rights agitator,
    • A photographer-artist whose work is mostly about taking pictures of naked women on rocks,
    • A “Dog Whisperer” celebrity from the Animal Channel TV Network,
    • A couple from South Jersey. He fancies himself a folk musician, and she can’t stand life in the north country.
    • An Adirondack lumber mill worker.