“A Short Conference Call” Is an Oxymoron

I have yet to be on a short conference call.

I’ve been on quite a few conference calls where ahead of time organizers said, “It’s just going to be a short conference call.” I’ve never been on a call that’s gone much less than an hour.

I couple of times, after being on a short conference call for more than half an hour, I’ve just hung up.

The other day I was on a conference call. It was going on 45 minutes. Someone came to the door. The dog started barking.

After that, other people on the call started sending me links to this video:

Yeah. I was that guy whose dog started barking.

I confess, I’ve also been the guy who shows up at the end, having said nothing the whole time. And the guy who quits to go get a beer half way through. I’ve resolved not to bother with conference calls where I’m either of those guys.

Most, maybe all, conference calls should be 10 minutes long, with the following agenda:

  • Hey everybody, here’s what you need to know.
  • Are there any other issues anybody needs the rest of us to think about?
  • Thank you for your time. Goodbye.

I didn’t fall off the turnip truck yesterday. I know it’s not going to happen.

But I can daydream.